As a resident of the UK I'm treated free on the NHS, and therefore recognise how lucky I am. So instead of depressing people out here I will share something fun:
Turn's out Doctor's have thiier own secret slang and codes on forms to insult patients, their colleagues, or just tell it like it is.
Here are the best (mostly UK but some international ones):
Handbag Positive - confused little old lady clutching handbag.
TTFO - Told to Fuck Off
Pumpkin Positive - So thick that if you shined a light in their head they'd light up like a pumpkin.
NFN - Normal for Norfolk
Circling the Drain - patient expected to die soon.
Departure Lounge - Geriatric Ward
GPO - Good for parts only.
TEETH - Tried everything else, try homeopathy.
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
Freud Squad - Psychologists
PFO - Patient Fell Over
PGT - Patient Got Thumped
GROLIES - Guardian Reader of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt
AHF - Acute Hissy Fit
Aggressive Euthenasia - something unpleasant patients would benefit from.
BUNDY - But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet
Cranio-Fecal Syndrome - Shit for Brains
Gone Camping - Patient in Oxygen Tent
BMW - Bitch, Moan, and Whines